Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Notes from my dental appt. today:

1. To assume that I'm going to have any dental procedure done without being high as a kite on Nitrous is an incorrect assumption. 
2. When the dentist tells you that he's going to give you Angelina Jolie lips, he means he's going to put a hideously large lip guard in your mouth. Not Jolie-like. No Brad in my future.
3. At one point, I thought it sounded like they were taking pictures of my teeth, so I looked up at the screen above me. Koala.
4. Noise canceling headphones do not, in fact, cancel drilling noises inside of your head.
5. Noise canceling headphones DO make it impossible to hear the dentist talk to you. It was like Charlie Brown's teacher. WAH WAH WAH. I did hear him tell me that I was really hard to work on. Glad I opted for the gas, sir?
6. I can inhale Nitrous like a pro. I was taking deep yoga breaths. Namaste.
7. No matter how many times he tried, and I told him it wouldn't work, the adult sized guard/sucker things do not work for me. Bust out the kid stuff.
8. When I got home, my dog immediately ran up and kissed me on my face where I was numb. Possibly, the best welcome home from the dentist ever. Next year, it'll be Jake Gyllenhaal.

With all said, if I'm going to hand over 3/4 of my paycheck, I'm glad it was for this guy. Least painful dentist I've gone to. First time I didn't feel the shots. High five, Dr. Sanchez!