Monday, February 27, 2012

Things I could do without on this season of The Bachelor

Look, I know that it's ridiculous to watch The Bachelor, but since I have no shame, I don't care.

On to the list of things I could do without on this season of The Bachelor:

1. Courtney - She's rude, makes bunny faces and speaks in a baby voice. Pure evil.

2. Ben's hair - Really. It's horrible.

3. Lindzi's middle part - Perhaps it's why her hair is ALWAYS in her face.

4. Ben's obvious distaste for most of the women. How many closed mouth kisses and dead eyed stares can these girls receive before realizing he's just not that into them?

5. Girls who say, "I didn't come here to make friends." Well, gee, thanks for telling us the obvious. We all know why you came on the show, but it doesn't mean you can't be reasonably nice to people. THIS MEANS YOU, EVIL COURTNEY. I find this to be a tired excuse for mean people to be mean.

6. The misuse of the pronoun "I." "Ben and I's date was great." INCORRECT. I's is not a word, thank you. Why does everyone on The Bachelor think that if they replace "me" with "I" that they're correct? It's always people who think they're correct simply because they've used "I" in a sentence, who don't know how to use it properly at all. Has anyone heard of subject and predicate? This isn't season specific, it's like a plague on the entire show.

7. Analogies, similes and metaphors about inanimate objects, and how they relate to love.
"We walked by an old wall. The old wall was just like love because it has to be strong and last forever."
"Repelling off of this cliff is just like falling in love because you have to take a leap of faith and hold on to each other for dear life."
"The ocean is just like love because it's deep and infinite."
"Picking out a pair of boots is just like picking out a life partner, they have to be a perfect fit."

Honestly, who writes this stuff?

Ben gets sleazier with every episode, and once he picks Courtney (which I think he'll do), America will be done with him.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Back in action

My dear readers, I left you for a while. I hope that I haven't given any of you abandonment issues. It's more likely that you didn't notice my absence, which is fine too.

My plan is to become more active again, as I hope to have more to say. I've got plenty of pop culture commentary bottled in my head, so be prepared.

Let this be a warning to you. I will be writing, and you will be reading. Hopefully both statements are true.

Back again soon.